Thursday, November 6, 2014

Yes, Grace, there is...


So I'm a little annoyed at Judy Blume right now. Grace is reading Superfudge, one of my favorites, and having a blast, just like I did. But there was something I didn't remember about the book. About three chapters from the end, Judy Blume acts like there's no such thing as Santa Claus.

I was reminded about this little tidbit when Grace suddenly pulled her head out of the book, a puzzled expression all over her face, and stated, "I know where babies come from, and I still believe in Santa."

I was confused, then alarmed as I started to remember. The main character, Peter Hatcher (a fifth grader just like Grace), complains to his parents that they shouldn't be encouraging his younger brother, Fudge, to believe that Santa is real:

"I don't think it's a good idea for you to let him go on believing in Santa....After all you told him where babies come from. How can a kid who knows where babies come from still believe in Santa?"

So now it was clear that the time had come to have that conversation with my child.

She had to be told about the multidimensionality of the universe.

I know. It's the talk nobody's ever ready for.  But there are no manuals for exactly how to grow a kid, particularly where matters of quantum physics are concerned.

So I patiently explained how Santa Claus exists on a dimensional level that's separate from ours, albeit just as real, and that right around the winter solstice there are immutable laws of nature that allow a being like him to cross into the dimension that we're currently experiencing, and that unfortunately there are a lot of parents who aren't up to speed on the physics so that, sadly, their kids have no choice but to grow out of one of the most important truths they used to be privy to.

At one point during my explanation, my daughter interrupted me to ask, "Mommy, are you ok? Your eyes look like you're about to start crying."

I admitted that it makes me sad that some families lose Santa Claus just because they lack a sufficient background in science...but that I was fine. Just fine.

Judy Blume will be getting a strongly worded email from me, however. There are obviously gaps in her education.